Idols of the Heart
How "the expulsive power of new affections" for God freed me from idolatry
The air was a bit cooler, which was a welcome relief from the oppressive 95 degree temps of the prior weeks. The sky a deep, clear blue. We were walking Chester and his happy, quick gait confirmed what I already knew—fall had come. I’m always disappointed by fall’s arrival. I’m sure it’s a gradual change in reality—with plenty of time to prepare—but for the girl who optimistically hopes summer will last just a season (or two!) longer, it always comes upon me at once.
I felt a sadness creep in somewhere deep inside. I brushed it off by turning to smile at Richard not wanting anything to spoil our time together on that beautiful September day. Disregarding the happy mask I wore, my heart whispered its warning, “You know what that means. He’ll be gone again soon.”
I Signed Up for This
I knew what I had signed up for nearly twenty years ago. Well, I thought I knew. I knew in part. I knew that Richard worked in the fall and spring. I knew he could be away from home for weeks at a time. (Months, when we were still dating.) I knew I would miss him.
What I didn’t know was how hard life would be here without him. Or how much fear would assail my thoughts concerning his safety. I didn’t know how many hours I would sit on the floor watching my babies play while fighting a kind of paralysis in my mind.
When the boys were really little, it was easy to just stay home. I would avoid venturing out as much as possible. Only leaving when I had no choice because the cupboards were bare, and a person can eat only so many pb+j’s in a week. Trying to keep my anxious mind in check, I’d tell myself ‘You can do this.’ I’d load the boys and a stocked diaper bag into the car and head to the grocery store all the while praying there’d be no diaper blow outs, my barely potty-trained toddler wouldn’t need to use the restroom and that there would be a spot next to a cart return. We depend on him for so much, I thought.
I. depend on him. for so much. For leadership. For self-esteem. For emotional support. For help with the boys. For friendship. For love. For identity. For security. For purpose. My greatest fear was wondering what would become of me if something were to happen to him. Looking back, I realize now just how much I was asking of my husband. And how unfair that was to him. I was expecting him to fill my heart in ways only God can.
Idols of the Heart
Tabletalk Magazine contributor and pastor, Matt Ryman asks, “What is the greatest threat to your devotion to God?” He says it is idolatry. Idolatry threatens not only our devotion to God, but our overall spiritual health and joy in the Lord as well. And it isn’t confined to just golden calves and Asherah poles. Ryman defines idolatry as “worshiping, or being more devoted to, anything other than God.”1 The insidious aspect of idolatry is that it is completely natural to the fallen human heart. So much so that John Calvin called the heart a “perpetual idol factory.”
Calvin College philosophy and theology professor, James K.A. Smith says, “It’s not a question of whether we worship, but what we worship.” We were made to worship and if we don’t worship the one true God, we will replace Him with a god of our own making. A friend of mine calls this our “functional god.” A created thing functioning like god in our hearts. A counterfeit god.
Author and Senior Teacher for Desiring God Ministry, Tony Reinke explains, “Shallow thinking about God always replaces God, and sets in His place a fraudulent idol of security or sex or wealth or power or even of religion…Seven billion polytheists today cannot (and will not) stop worshiping [their idols], because they cannot stop placing their hope and future security in things.”2
Two Little Words
The Old Testament book of Daniel offers a fantastic example of rejecting idol worship and gave me great encouragement as well as conviction with just two little words.
“King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide, and set it up in Babylon…Then the herald loudly proclaimed to the nations and men of every language: ‘As soon as you hear the sound of…all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.” (Daniel 3: 1,4-6)
Three young Hebrew men, who had been taken captive after Nebuchadnezzar conquered Jerusalem, refused to bow and were promptly reported. Despite standing before an irate king, the three friends remained resolute. “If you do not worship it,” Nebuchadnezzar warned, “you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?” (Daniel 3:15)
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (Daniel 3: 17-18)
Even if.
They would remain loyal to the God who commanded “You shall have no other gods before me” and “You shall not make for yourself an idol…or bow down to them or worship them” even if He chose not to save them from certain death.
What courage! What faith.
Is It Ego?
“What kind of egotistical god demands you worship him?” my friend’s unbelieving brother scoffed. “Does he have self-esteem issues?”
I admit that I wondered the same thing once (though without the vitriol). I was a relatively new Christian and though I believed, I did not yet fully trust the Lord. As I continued to walk with God, however, and study His character in the Bible, my love for Him continued to grow and I understand now that His command not to love and worship anything above Him doesn’t come from narcissism. It comes from worthiness. Supreme inherent worthiness.
“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they were created and have their being.” (Revelation 4:11)
In his article “The Heart is an Idol Factory,” Matt Ryman says, “An idol is something that has taken God’s rightful place of primacy in your heart. God hates idolatry because it makes us forget who He is.” He also says identifying idols requires hard, humble heart-work. But the goal is to recognize things that have become, or are becoming, more important to you than God. It might be sinful things, but they also might be good things. Things like your children, your social media following, your savings account, your body, your political party, or (like for me), your spouse —any created thing really—can all take primary importance in our hearts.
How to Make Him #1
Cutting out an idol can be like trying to quit a bad habit cold turkey. If you’ve ever tried that, you may also be familiar with how challenging a task it was if you failed to first replace the less desirable habit with a more desirable habit. Ryman cautions, “We cannot simply reject the idol; we must replace it [with God].” How do we keep God where He belongs and make Him first in our heart? By using what nineteenth century Scottish minister, Thomas Chalmers called “the expulsive power of a new affection.” New or increased love for God is the only thing that expels idols from our hearts and enables us to make God primary again. We must ask God to fan the flames of our love for Him. As Tony Reinke declares, “Sovereign grace must break our idolatrous impulses.”
Growing New Affections
Near the end of 2023, I felt spiritually dry. It had been an incredibly challenging start to the school year for my youngest son and a lot of emotional turmoil for us all. I was enrolled in Community Bible Study, but I was really just “going through the motions” of completing my lessons each week. I was so mentally and emotionally worn out I had considered just quitting.
But then something incredible happened.
After years of prayer, we decided and were able to transfer our son to what has become a wonderful special education school. And life began to feel manageable again. With so much stress and exhaustion finally coming to an end, I started praying that God would renew my excitement and hunger for His word. I longed to feel closer to Him and prayed He would quicken my heart’s desire for Him.
We were studying 2 Samuel at the time and God answered my prayer in an extraordinary way. As I read the details of David’s life, they came alive to me, and I saw and understood his story with increased depth and new insight. I made connections, felt conviction, saw the gospel of Jesus, and the mercy of God. I couldn’t get enough—I feasted on the word of God. I began reading and meditating on the Psalms. Over and over again, I read the longings for God, the confidence in God, the deep trust of God and day by day I felt my affections for the Lord deepen and grow.
That winter, God planted a garden in my heart that eventually bloomed into a harvest of trust, contentment, and joy the likes of which I had never experienced before! You see, almost exactly one year later, my husband worked a job in New Mexico and was away from home for forty days. The longest he’d ever been gone in our married life.
And I was ok.
In fact, I was more than okay, I was content and full of joy.
One day while driving to pick up my middle son from school, it dawned on me. Rich had been gone at that point five weeks with no finish date yet in sight and there I was singing along to a song with a smile on my face. I stopped mid-verse and exclaimed, “God! You are so good to me, God! Thank you, God. Thank you.”
Don’t get me wrong. It was very, very hard running things at home without him for six weeks, but that year of preparation had given God His rightful place of primacy in my heart. As I looked more and more to the Lord to fill my need for security and purpose and identity and friendship and guidance and love my adoration and view of Him as my Supreme Treasure expelled the previous idols.
All my fears of “What if?” were replaced by the confidant assurance of His “Even if.” Even if my worst fears come true in this life, He will never forsake me.
P.S. —He is Better Than Life
The song I was singing along to that day is called “Better Than Life” and it is based on David’s Psalm 63. A poem overflowing with praise for who God is: Our soul-satisfying, powerful, faithful, beautiful strength and treasure.
“O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
I have looked upon you in the sanctuary and have seen your power and your glory.
Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest food, and my mouth will praise You with joyful lips.
For You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to You as You uphold me.” (verses 1-3, 5, 7-8)
Matt Ryman. “The Heart is an Idol Factory.” Tabletalk Magazine. August 2023
Tony Reinke. “The Nail in the Coffin of our Hearts.” desiringgod.org October 1, 2017
So happy for you! This joy in the Lord will never leave! 😁 I loved the ending-- turning What If to Even If. Powerful!!
Vanessa, what a beautiful testimony. Thank you. And I also love the story of Daniel there. “Even if.”